Tale of one collector (part 1).

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PSA: I knew absolutely nothing about the market until some months ago, don't expect me to give you special hints or tips on getting bargains, I'm here just for letting off some steam.

So, as many of you will know by now (at least the 70% of subscribers that actually opened the last emailed post; 🙏 thanks guys): I've plunged into the dark waters of the Oldhammer collecting.

OK, not exactly collecting, as there's nothing further of a completionist than me. I'm trying to build and paint an army that a) looks like the first one I owned, and b) feels like it, although it will be mini-agnostic. That means it will not be a GW nineties army, nor a GW-only collection.

I'm using the Warhammer Armies: Chaos supplement to build the army list, but I'll be playing everything from Warcry to AoS to The Old World or WHFB 4th Edition with it, so don't expect all my troop choices to make sense.

Cover of Warhammer Armies CHAOS, a Warhammer supplement by Games Workshop

But I'm not here to talk about the actual minis, but the grotesque and hellish landscape the second hand APPs have unleashed in front of me...

Realm of Chaos.

Did you know that people doesn't usually talk before making an offer? They just click buy like savages! No, seriously, I thought it was a matter of courtesy, and as a newbie I always ask first (that was the way when I used to sell my work on eBay in the late nineties).

Except eBay, all other APPs messaging function is shit. Slow, inconsistent... To the point that you can lose some good deals if you try to talk to the seller first. So, first lesson: DO NOT TALK TO STRANGERS. Just click buy now.

And speaking about thugs, I've found all kinds of people (and items) in the last four weeks, but now and then there's this special kind of guy that wants to sell stuff for thrice its price, in a really bad condition (missing bits, flattened lead parts); they play cool and cocky but it shows when they advertise "old plaguebearers" but it's the last metal batch before the plastic sprue demons.

No honor among thieves.

Oh, so you did the clicking and the paying but nothing was sent and the item was cancelled without a word? That may be because the seller is accepting higher offers by private messaging while you play by the APP rules.

Dark elf scout illustration by Mark Gibbons.

And let's talk all that people selling bright unpainted metal models that are clearly recasts. Some models were only produced in lead, so other materials mean they're copies. And I'm not against copies, I'm against cheating on people.

There's also lots of people that don't answer when you ask for details or offer a different price (I'm not trying to bargain, but when I see defects and missing parts I'm not ready to pay the full amount).

So you get into a paranoid mood, checking your DMs every hour... I guess this is the hard part about this quest: Learn to act cool, resign yourself to losing lots of deals, and aim the long play. I can deal with that, no worries.

The Changelings.

And this is the funniest thing I discovered last week.

I've been isolated from lots of hobby communities since I left Meta and deleted my accounts, mainly FB groups and Instagram stories. But that saved me from discovering that (brace yourselves) some of new influencers are posh boys who populated the GW official store in my city 24 years ago.

Not the punks from the indy LFGS that sold Warhammer models a decade before GW came to Spain, nor the normies who spent their money on lead before the coming of MTG. The rich kids who spent their days there! Those who ate from the trashcan that was GW corporate in the early 2000*...

Is there something sadder than admiring a manager as your mentor? Listen, guys: They were paid to sell you stuff (in fact, they complained about your mother leaving you there on Saturday morning).

Luckily, there's a ton of nice people sharing stuff and helping each other so this is going to be a nice endeavor. How about setting an example and leaving some helpful info in the comments? Friendly stores, trustworthy hobbyists or nice YT channels about old lead models and books, that's up to you.

Here's mine: Don't look for the UK market if you're on a budget. France, Italy or the Netherlands sellers have plenty of second hand models for you (but not on the most known APPs). Spain has just fallen to the speculative market and isn't as reliable as it should.

A happy C34 Minotaur Lord (1988) clean after years covered in paint.

Thanks to Kiko, Jesús, Brais, José Manuel, Eric, Massimo and others for letting go their old models. I'll honor you giving them a nice coat of paint.

See you soon!

(*) I've been saving my reflection on that subject for some time now, I'll write about that sooner than later.