Sit straight, heretic!

Wilbur the Red -
+++ Greetings, Inquisitor.
+++ Our team intercepted a transmission 9 hours ago regarding the Adept PE4-CH7 from Sector C0MMUN1T7 regarding some sub-standard ergonomic advice. The authors of this document are already under Ordo Hereticus custody and they’ve been processed and enucleated as regulations mandate.
+++ Downloading...

“To whom it may concern,

We, the undersigned Magos, encourage your organisation to correct the ergonomic advice given to the citizens in your last public communication.

Contrary to popular belief, posture adopted on any Sanctioned Imperial Chair ɸ doesn't have a “massive” impact on the user’s comfort and /or spinal status. Obviously, what the hungry masses of the underhive think isn’t a real concern for the Scholam, but heretic and superstitious ideas should be purged from our databanks regularly.

Working while seated with a “hunched back” isn’t good or bad for the human spine (we must emphasize the correct term should be “Standard Kyphotic Posture” or “servitor stand”), nor it provokes slipped discs or the dreaded extruded hernia. Any posture would provoke pain eventually, and this doesn’t mean the spine has been damaged at all. Given a motionless worker, the oxygen supply to the tissues will decline until the pH reaches a threshold for some signaling chemicals to be released into the bloodstream; this will activate some nerve receptors in an desensitised standard nervous system and thereby will be processed as pain by the brain. This signal doesn’t mean cellular death or tissue breakdown or inflammation; it’s objective it’s to create the urge in the subject to get up and move, in order to get the oxygen to regular levels. That’s called “hypoxic pain” and it’s the Will of the Omnissiah, so it should be respected. In any case, bear in mind that the estimated average manufactorum shift lasts 10 hours and 80% of that time will be sitting time for highly-qualified workers.

To set an example, think of a crippled Space Marine Lieutenant hosted inside a Dreadnought sarcophagus (amputation of upper or lower limbs has no impact in this simulation). Being 100% still, his system would not process any pain until the battle is over. That’s the result of advanced chemicals and combat stims being pumped into the subject, but also because his central nervous system is “busy” dealing with most urgent dangers, like charging Orks or blazing Phospor Blasters. The very moment the mandatory processes end, the system can now scan for other metabolic disturbances, detect tissue hypoxia, and begin “feeling” pain.

It seems painting Imperial-themed scale models and watching to “hobby marathons” holoprojections can replicate this effects on isolated humans. This is why we advocate to lower the exposure time to uncomfortable postures, instead of investing in expensive furniture (our accounting department was happy to suggest that the saved credits would probably be invested in models and/or paint, All Hail the Omnissiah).

It is known that human and abhuman spine curvature ɸɸ or shape is not related to any degenerative disease or condition, and wear and tear changes should be attributed to aging and not to the standard work environment. Factors as air quality, corpse starch consumption, lack of sleep due to ingestion of recaff or other stimulants, Lho-sticks addiction, and particularly  the lack of regular exercise outside the work environment have a huge impact on spinal pain and should be addressed by higher ranked Munitorum officers.

Price, shape, materials and armrests of a Sanctioned Imperial Chair ɸ are only a matter of comfort, and don't influence the health outcomes of the studied subjects through the decades. The evidence for this was conflicting until M38, but nowadays there’s a consensus about this: There’s no good or bad chairs, just Sanctioned Imperial Chairs ɸ .

Regarding arm posture used to hold models up while painting, we cannot recommend resting the elbows against the table. That leads to ulnar nerve compression that may impair hand gripping and brush holding ability in older adepts. Varying rest over forearms, wrists and elbows, cycling through those with every colour switch should be enough to keep the cramps away. Citizens should ignore standard joint angle recommendations for hips, knees and ankles too.

If Planetary Governors are not willing to enforce this recommendations, the comittee has recommended the following procedures in subjects with low back pain:

  • Attach the worker to a Vingh mark Ironstrider chasis: Perpetual movement is perfect in order to ease physical pain and provides a sense of lightness and liberty well rated among test servitors.
  • Replace the subject’s lower limbs and lumbar spine by a Kataphron suspension system with mechanized tracks. This enhances the amount of shock absorption of the spinal discs by an order of magnitude.
  • Practice relaxation techniques or listen to Imperial Lithanies with a Pacifier Helm.
  • Please ask your closest Imperial Priest before initiating consumption of neural stims for the pain and killer urges in the name of the Omnissiah.
  • Ask for experimental procedures from the mining colonies on [REDACTED].

With all due respect,

Magos Biologis W1L8U-R & Arch-Genetor M01S3-S

ɸ ”Sanctioned Imperial Chair” is the equivalent term for “Any Chair” in the M2.

ɸɸ Puritan Inquisitors may point to the fact that abhuman spines should not be considered regular spines, especially the ones from Homo Sapiens Variatus.